There's this Bonnie Prince Billy song that says "I see a darkness, and did you know how much I love you?" and I adore that because it holds so much together: life & death, beauty & tragedy. Life is full of these diptychs and is not complete without them. We can't know that which is beautiful unless we also know that which is tragic. And so I seek to know both, with the hope that fullness and healing will continue to appear.
I am 26 years old and live in Seattle.
More of my writing and photography is at thelongbrake.com.
I hide because, ultimately, I want to be seen, but only partially. If I'm seen fully, for who I am, I'm afraid you'll run away. But the reality is this: you likely won't run. In fact, you'll probably stay, and maybe that's the most frightening part of all.
There is a desire in me to hide: from myself, from community, from being known. I have this idea in my head that says If I remain ambiguous, then people will be attracted to the mystery and not know any of my faults. This, I've discovered, is a lonely place to live....
Receive our print magazine and get instant digital access to our current issue and our entire archive. Listen to longform essays, bookmark articles, save your reading location, and more.
