On March 26, 1987, Ben Spencer—twenty-two years old, newly married, with a baby on the way—was arrested for robbing and killing a wealthy white man in Dallas. Nothing connected him to the crime. He was convicted on the testimony of three witnesses who lied for a $35,000 reward and a jailhouse informant who lied for a shorter sentence. Ben was sentenced to life in prison.

Ben’s story reveals how criminal trials can go off the rails and why innocence is not enough to undo the mistake. But it is also a story of faith. For thirty-four years in a maximum-security prison, Ben absorbed God’s Word at a cellular level: He forgave the people who framed him, and he never doubted that the truth would set him free. Ben’s spiritual journey can be traced in some two thousand pages of letters to his wife, Debra. He never succumbed to bitterness—he saw it as a poison—and he trusted that God alone controlled his fate, not the Texas legal system. His miracle came in the form of a new district attorney, who reinvestigated his case. Ben Spencer was exonerated on August 29, 2024, his name cleared and his soul burnished to reflect the image of Christ.

—Barbara Bradley Hagerty, author of Bringing Ben Home

Letters

Three weeks before his trial, Ben writes to his wife from a Dallas jail, urging her to pray and trust God. They had been married less than three months when he was arrested.

March 1, 1988. To Debra

I want you to know that I think of you day and night, and I hope you’re doing the same. I love you with all my heart, and I want you to know that. [Hearing] lately that you haven’t been upset puts me in a good mood. I have been thinking very positive lately. I have been looking on the bright side of things, and you seem to have made a lot of improvements yourself too. I have been praying to God that if it’s his will that we can be together soon. Debra, I want you to keep looking up to the sky, praying, and I know that our prayers will be answered.

Ben and Debra’s son was born shortly after Ben was arrested. Now ten months old, B.J. would not see his father outside the prison walls for more than three decades.

March 1, 1988. To Ben’s son, B.J.

Hi, Baby Ben. How is my son doing today? I have been watching how big you have been getting lately. Yeah, Daddy’s little baby is growing up to be a big boy now. They tell me you’re getting to be too big to carry around. I know you have been enjoying yourself and having lots of fun, and Daddy can’t wait until the time comes that you, Mommy, and I can do things as a family together. You also play a special part in my life, and I want you to take care of your mommy until I can get out there. I love you. Your daddy.

In the 1990s, facing life in prison, Ben implored Debra to divorce him and move on with her life. She did, reluctantly, but a decade later they began writing, reawakening dormant feelings: friendship, affection—and, improbably, love.

November 25, 2004, Thursday at 6:00 a.m. To Debra

I wanted so much for our family, and it hurts me that I have not been able to provide for you and B.J. I have lived my life with you both over and over again in my mind. I have experienced many of the same questions that you mentioned. We have a lot to be thankful for, as I trust that God has brought us back together for a reason. I want to make the best of our relationship, and I want us to be together. I have never stopped seeing you as my wife, so it will really be more like a renewal of our vows. Debra, I would like for you to marry me and to be my wife. I would like to do it right this time. We have both matured, and I want us to have a wedding that I really wanted back then. It doesn’t have to be big, but I want to be surrounded by family and friends so that they can witness our love and commitment to each other. Yes, I am asking you to marry me. Would you marry me?

Ben asks Debra to do the impossible: forgive the people and the system that betrayed him.

July 19, 2005, Tuesday at 6:00 p.m. To Debra

Hi Love, I hope and pray that this letter finds you and B.J. doing fine. I realize that it’s getting a little redundant, but I think of you two most all of the time. . . .

In the event that anything should happen to me, I don’t want you or B.J. to be consumed with hate or bitterness. I don’t want either of you to demand that justice be served. Bitterness and hatred are like a cancer. They will eat away at you until they destroy.

It’s just like my accusers, I don’t hold any ill feelings toward any of them. I hate the fact that they lied on me, but I don’t hate any of them. “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay, says the Lord.” Oftentimes we want to put ourselves in the place of God and take matters into our own hands; what a shame because we’ll have to give an account for our sins one day. What I want you to do for me is simple: Be at peace because it is far more rewarding.

Ben comes up for parole twenty years after he’s arrested. He rejected a plea offer in 1988, because he would not admit to the crime. He prepares Debra for disappointment a second time—not because of the system, but because of his character.

December 17, 2005, Saturday at 8:00 a.m. To Debra

These officers are still surprised that I’m not gone yet. “Man, you still here?” I hear this question nearly every day from someone.

Baby, I’m not trying to steal your joy. I want to be out of this place more than anyone else wants me out of here. But, it’s important that I be very honest with you. There is no telling how much longer I will be in here. Here’s the thing about parole: you have to accept responsibility for the offense in order to be granted parole. I will never accept responsibility for a crime that I did not commit. Even if I were to make parole, I would have to turn it down. I don’t mean to upset you, but truth has always meant more to me than my freedom.

A few days before his son’s nineteenth birthday, Ben wrestles with the lost years.

May 21, 2006, Sunday at 9:00 a.m. To Debra

. . . Our son is about to step into adulthood, and I never had the opportunity to be a real part of this life. I missed everything.

Ben learns that the parole board has not only denied him but also put off his next review until 2012.

May 13, 2007, Sunday, 11:00 a.m. To Debra

Five years! That’s ridiculous, you know? Now if I’ve been down here messing up all the time, catching cases left and right all the time, then and only then could I see them setting parole off for me. I’ve been a model inmate and I deserve parole now!!! [The reason cited for the denial was “the nature of the offense”—that is, the violence of the assault.] Well that’s not anything that can be changed now is it?

But he is not without hope: Centurion Ministries, an organization that reinvestigates dubious convictions, has taken his case. They will present new evidence of Ben’s innocence to a Texas judge in an evidentiary hearing two months hence.

. . . I believe that this hearing is going to be the turning point in this case. I trust that the truth will not be ignored this time around.

The evidentiary hearing before a Dallas judge in 2007 goes well for Ben, and as he waits for the judge’s ruling, he begins to dream.

March 4, 2008, Tuesday at 2:30 p.m. To Debra

I must tell you this. While I am still confined, I am ecstatic about how things have gone so far in this case. I’m excited in knowing that I am about to be free again. I keep trying to imagine what life will be like once I am out. I realize that I will have to find myself gainful employment and take some time to readjust to society, but I am so ready. I’m more than ready.

On March 28, 2008, Dallas judge Rick Magnis rules Ben should be released on the grounds of “actual innocence.” Euphoric but realistic, Ben counsels Debra to be patient as the state’s highest criminal court, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, considers whether to affirm or reject the judge’s decision.

March 31, 2008, Monday at 5:45 a.m. To Debra

Now comes the hardest part. I know that if I had something else to do besides sit in the day room or look out the window time would fly by. Before I realize it, the court will have made their rulings. Don’t worry though, I’m going to hang on and remain patient. I’m going to remain steadfast and unmovable, for I know that God is able.

Ben waits in the Dallas jail, freedom just out of reach.

April 6, 2008, Sunday at 7:30 a.m. To Debra

I am really hoping that it doesn’t take the court of criminal appeals a long time to respond to Judge Magnis’s finding, as I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with being up here in this jail. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being up here closer to you, B.J., and my family, but being up here makes it harder on me too. Each time I look out into the beauty of God’s creation, I find myself thinking of things I would like to be doing. I really look forward to spending time with you all.

As days stretch into months without a ruling from the court of criminal appeals, Ben reveals his angst over the toll the delay is taking on his family and friends—but pulls back from despair.

September 22, 2008, Monday at 2:30 p.m. To Debra

I often feel so frustrated that I feel that my life is affecting everybody else’s life. There are times when I find myself thinking that I should tell everybody to live their life and just forget about me. Sometimes I feel as though everybody would be better off if they were able to forget about me and even feel that it would be easier for me to make it. Maybe I’m losing my mind, but I just think this way at times. I even think of just getting out and living my life on the streets because I really don’t want to be a burden to anyone, especially not you.

I suppose that life is filled with questions of uncertainty, which is why we have to take chances. Only time will tell us what we both hope to find out, and I’m looking forward to the day that we are able to sit down and discuss all the things that are on our minds.

After fifteen months in limbo, Ben voices existential doubts—then resets.

May 3, 2009, Sunday at 2:00 p.m. To Debra

Sweetheart, it’s been a long road, and I’m still trying to get there. I thank God for giving me the patience because I could not have done it without the Lord. I oftentimes sit back and consider my life and the various trials that I have been through, the obstacles I’ve encountered. When I look over my life, I don’t know the whys. All I know is that God has never let me down, and I know that he never will. Just being honest, there were times that I just didn’t know if I would make it. I even wanted to give up, but that voice within just kept telling me, “Hang in there!” So I did!

In 1995, Ben met Richard Miles, a young inmate who claimed to be innocent, on Richard’s first day in prison. Ben, who was waiting for Centurion Ministries to take his case, nonetheless told Richard to write Centurion and ask for help. Centurion persuaded the court of criminal appeals to exonerate Richard Miles in 2009, even as Ben languished in jail while the court considered his fate.

October 4, 2009, Sunday at 3:30 p.m. To Debra

I suppose that they were concerned about how I might feel about this news if I heard it through the news. Well, I must admit that I am extremely disappointed in the state for the way that they are handling my case, but I’m also extremely happy for Miles and the way that things are going in his. It’s a wonderful thing any time an innocent person is released from being wrongfully imprisoned.

After more than three years of silence, the court of criminal appeals decides that Ben is not innocent and will spend the rest of his life in prison. Ben confesses his despair to Debra—the only time he did so in the two-thousand-plus pages of letters he wrote her.

May 22, 2011, Sunday at 7:12 p.m. To Debra

I don’t want you to worry about me, but I’m really struggling right now, as I’m certain we all are. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking around with a façade. I mean on the outside, I appear to be holding up quite well, but then on the inside, I’m torn up. I’m battling with all types of things: who I am as a person; what does the future hold for me? You name it, I’m probably troubled with it. I keep wondering, is prison the life that my future holds for me? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life here, but I wonder, will man ever be fair? Will they ever do the right thing in this case?

Facing life in prison and having exhausted all his legal options, Ben releases Debra from her commitment to him.

May 2, 2014, Friday at 6:18 a.m. To Debra

You have waited long enough for this to end. I would like for you to have what I cannot provide you. Be happy so that I can be happy for you.

Ben returns to the maximum-security prison, where a new virus begins spreading—eventually into Ben’s dorm room, which he shares with 110 inmates. In all his letters to Debra, Ben plays down the growing epidemic, even as it takes the lives of dozens of prisoners.

May 16, 2020, Saturday at 6:00 a.m. To Debra

On May 4, 2020, some guy got into a fight and got his leg broken. When he made it to the outside hospital, they tested his blood, which tested positive for the antibody of the coronavirus. So, for the past (nearly) two weeks, we have been confined to our cubicles and cells. No TV, no anything unless you’re fortunate enough to receive magazines or have books to read. This is why I haven’t called anybody.

All of Debra’s letters to Ben were lost, but in the mid-2010s, she could send email. In 2018, a new district attorney was elected, and he reopened Ben’s case. His prosecutors uncovered evidence—hidden by previous prosecutors—that the state’s witnesses had framed Ben. In this email, Debra once again dares to hope Ben will be freed.

September 27, 2020. From Debra to Ben

I wish you were here holding me and me holding you. I really need you. I want a fair chance at being married to my husband and just living a normal and faithful life together. LORD PLEASE HEAR MY CRY.

. . . I love you, Ben, and I need you to know it. Not only do I love you, but I want to be in love with you like we used to be. I truly believe you are the love of my life.

After amassing evidence that Ben did not receive a fair trial, the district attorney petitioned a Dallas court to free Ben while his case was considered, once again, by the court of criminal appeals. On March 12, 2021, nearly thirty-four years after he was incarcerated, Ben Spencer walked out of prison. Debra opened her home to him—her guest room, since they were not married. Every morning, before leaving for work, Ben leaves Post-it notes on the refrigerator.

December the 21, 2021. To Debra

There’s just 20 days left before we become Mrs. and Mr. Spencer again. I truly pray that we will develop the best relationship ever. I love and adore you even when you’re having a bad day. God bless us.

As their wedding day approached—January 10, 2022, exactly thirty-five years after their first wedding—Ben marvels at the distance he, and they, have travelled.

December 29, 2021. To Debra

It’s so amazing what God can bring you through. There were many days that I did not know if I could ever be free again, nor whether we would ever reconnect, but look at me now! I am free and we’re about to be remarried. So amazing! I thank God for His many blessings and for His guidance and strength that He gives. Thank you, Lord, for all that you’ve done so far in my life and will continue to do. I love you, Sweetheart.

More than half his life was snatched from him. But Ben’s settled instinct is gratitude—a posture that is unexplainable, but for God.

January 5, 2022. To Debra

Good morning, Love. Another blessing from the Lord this morning. I opened my eyes on this side of eternity and there you were. I began to thank God for the blessing of your presence in my life. The Lord who knows our struggles has a way of making it work out in our lives. All that’s required of us is to listen, to take heed to His guidance. All things work together to the good for those that love the Lord. I love Him. I love you. Ben.

These letters are adapted from Barbara Bradley Hagerty’s book Bringing Ben Home, a story of rush to judgment, of expediency over truth, and of heroes inside and outside prison who fought the Texas justice system and won. Barbara is an award-winning journalist at The Atlantic and formerly of National Public Radio. Her work has appeared in the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Vogue, and the Christian Science Monitor.