There are often times in our lives where we go through periods of darkness and uncertainty. There are times when we want to turn our backs to the world and escape the inevitable, or avoid the uncertainties. There are times when darkness looms on our shoulders when important decisions need to be made or when we feel alone in our struggles.
When I painted this self-portrait I was experiencing a time of darkness. It was a time when everything that was certain became uncertain; I also felt distant from Jesus Christ. I wanted to put my head down and hide from all the doubts, in hopes that it would all disappear—it seems easier that way. Regardless of my idealistic thoughts of escape, I had to maintain an assertive stance; I had to withstand the pressures of life. This self-portrait marks a transition from the darkness and fear of the unknown to the bright hope lit up by Jesus Christ. Despite times of trial and the desire to hide, God always “know[s] the plans I have for you” (Jeremiah 29:11), which continually gives me hope regardless of what I find in my path.