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This week’s Delights & Comforts article reflects on an activity—in this case, sailing—the author and his wife have pursued to fed their souls as well as their marriage. Comment asked its colleagues and author community for their marriage-nourishing tips:
My wife and I have a standing date for a “coffee walk” every Saturday morning—rain or shine-to a coffee shop two miles from our home where we synchronize our PDAs for the coming week (sounds romantic, doesn’t it?). The walk provides enough connecting time that the “synchronization” doesn’t become perfunctory.
Watching re-runs of Star Trek: The Next Generation—we learned we were both Trekkies in our childhood”
Road trips, reading books together on contemplative spirituality and the inner life of boys, and visiting libraries, friends and gardens.
—Stephen Lazarus and Judith Cooke
Walking our dog Henry every evening.
Gourmet cooking (and eating!)
—Janet Epp Buckingham
Walks in Central Park.
Walks in nature (often with our children); hosting a meal for friends; and after the children are asleep: games—Carcassonne is a favorite; casual conversation accompanied by a nice drink; watching a movie and reflecting on the same.
Walk or hike, and watch movies.
Having an almost nightly chat and a glass of wine on our deck on a summer evening, or going biking together; but the one that we probably practice most is going on walks and hikes. We’re blessed to live in an area and climate that offers ample opportunity for such outdoor activity.
Play cribbage together. It’s portable (great for our peripatetic lifestyle) and gets us face-to-face at the end of the day.
Jennifer and I share a common love of rock climbing. We’ve been climbing together since we’ve met, and continue to this day, nearly 16 years later.
Our Rhodesian Ridgeback needs at least three miles a day, so we greatly enjoy walking our dogs on the hiking trails near our home.
Lots of reading (each in our own book); classical music concerts; walking in the woods
Discovering new places together, both travelling and exploring our own area.
Dining out together; traveling—domestic or foreign; loving a dog.
Kayaking in gentle Caribbean waters and the rivers of Oregon . . .
—Wes & Janis Balda
Exploring unique restaurants, their excellent food, combined with great conversation.
Walking in our neighborhood. Browsing bookstores. Trying new coffee shops. Cooking & baking. Reading together. Watching & discussing movies. Visiting art museums. Going to hear live music.
Wine tasting and common reading.
—Jamie & Deanna Smith
Working together to extend love to others through artful hospitality.
After 46 years we have developed some marriage reinforcing sacraments: talking in evening over wine or coffee; walking 2-3 miles every evening; hiking and camping; weekly couples group; sharing and cultivating a garden.
After the child is asleep, watching anything by Joss Whedon; trip to the public library; an evening gin and tonic on the porch.
Hiking in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado—which we have doing together since we first met there, a long time ago now.
When our children were young we would always have an hour to ourselves every evening. Then the children became teenagers and we never had our evenings together. We started to get up in the morning one hour before they “had” to get up. This one hour has become a treasure to us where we sit and drink coffee, visit share and enjoy one another’s company in private together.
Downhill skiing—fresh air, raw beauty, and falling down in laughter together. It’s a joy as a couple—and an exhausting-yet-exhilarating bonding time with young kids.
Russ and I like to cook for groups of people, whether for a dinner with friends or catering for a large event.
My husband and I enjoy sketching and drawing together.
Exploring by going for weekend drives in the country or along the coast.
What Joy and I do for leisure that feeds our souls and marriage: go sea kayaking for a few hours or a few days; go rock climbing; design the next house renovation project for our fixer upper in Pittsburgh; actually work on said project together; host dinner gathering with friends and scrumptious food.
Alice & I love spending time with grandchildren . . . on our own . . . without their parents. We enjoy travelling to parts of the world unknown to us. We enjoy re-arranging our home on a regular basis so it is always “fresh”. We have developed our own space time so that we are not together 24/7 in our retirement & enjoy that time.
—Co & Alice Vanderlaan